Title: bronze
Rating: G
Fandom: Xenogears
Relationship: Sigurd Harcourt/Kahran Ramsus
Wordcount: 1200
Short summary: 3 times others note Ramsus’ attraction to Sigurd and 1 time something is done about it.
“Are your eyes okay? The sun is quite bright today.”
Ramsus blinks. Hyuga’s question confuses him because he hasn’t been looking at the sun at all. True, the brightness of the sun had bothered Ramsus at first as someone used to fake lights, but there is too much work to be done outside, too much stuff to build and repair for him to have not adjusted to the natural sun by now. But he supposes that wouldn’t look so glistening if the sun wasn’t so strong today.
He swallows. “I suppose so.”
Hyuga smiles at that response. “I too still struggle with the bright sun.” He chuckles. “But Sigurd is a natural. I’m sure his complexion helps.”
“Yes…” Ramsus feels his face heat up. So his staring had been caught by Hyuga. But what could Ramsus have done about it? Sigurd’s outfit is so…eye-catching. Anyone with eyes would be looking at it, at that expanse of...
“It looks good, doesn’t it?”
Ramsus bites his tongue, reminding himself not to react to Hyuga’s provocations. “What are you talking about?” he says tensely. Sigurd isn’t that far away; even if Sigurd can’t hear this conversation, it’s best not to cause a commotion and bring him over.
“Bronze.” Hyuga laughs. “It’s a nice color.”
Bronze… That is an apt way to describe Sigurd’s skin complexion especially in this sunlight. Especially with the way the sun oil makes it glisten in the light. It makes Ramsus want to touch…
But he can’t. He doesn’t have the right. He shakes his head and looks away.
“I see…” he says simply, letting Hyuga think whatever he wants to after that.
<<<<>>>>
“You know his tags were removed a long time ago.”
“Huh?”
Ramsus hadn’t expected Jessiah to drop by his table when surely other people could serve as better drinking partners. Because after that brief conversation with Hyuga a few days ago, Ramsus had frankly been sulking. His old attraction to Sigurd had flared up enough to be noticed by Hyuga and now that it had been noticed, Ramsus couldn’t stop thinking about it. Couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wants to touch that bronze skin.
“You’re staring. You know that’s just traditional dress.”
Couldn’t stop staring at it either, apparently. “I know.” He growls when Jessie just lets out a loud laugh in response. “I know!”
“Then are you just going to look or are you going to do something about it?”
Ramsus bristles. “That’s none of your business.”
“Ah.” Jessie puts down his pint, gently. It surprises Ramsus, narrows his attention to Jessie alone. Jessie smiles. “But as your old comrade, let me just say this. He doesn’t have to see you so often, but he does so anyway. Take what you will from that.”
Jessie then lifts his pint once more, takes a swig, and then promptly leaves the table, leaving Ramsus alone to think, to wonder. Is that really true? Ramsus thought Sigurd’s daily visits were a test in resisting temptation, but if it is something completely different…
Ramsus takes one last look over at Sigurd, sitting with his young master, before retreating to his room.
<<<<>>>>
“Dominia…”
“Don’t say anything.”
“You could change your outfit too.”
“Even I know that won’t make a difference. His eyes look, but his heart sees.”
Ramsus knows the Elements have their own conversations without him about him, but it’s been a while since he’s walked into one accidentally. He hadn’t thought much about Dominia and Kelvena conversing but the way that Dominia freezes upon spotting him makes it obvious that he is the subject of this conversation. The reason is unclear, though.
“And your heart seethes,” Kelvena follows eventually after a long pause.
Dominia turns her head aside. “Hmph.”
“Is there a problem?” Ramsus wonders if there had been some argument over him. He’s not completely oblivious to the attentions that the Elements pay towards him, now that he’s out of that destructive mind void. It makes sense; he did pick them all out and so they are indebted to him. And they have all gone through a lot…
“No, sir,” Dominia responds stiffly.
Kelvena bows her head slightly. “We have no issues with Mr. Harcourt.”
“That’s good.” Ramsus knows that Sigurd, Hyuga, and the others that used to be their “enemies” are now interacting with them regularly as “allies” as the remaining humans of this world. It’s nice to know that what Ramsus considers true in his heart has become true for his former subordinates as well.
It’s only some hours later, when he takes a break from moving debris, that he connects the whole conversation together.
His eyes look but his heart sees.
So even the Elements are aware of his affection for Sigurd. Perhaps the whole world knows. As for Sigurd, well…
<<<<>>>>
“I know.”
Sigurd knows. When Ramsus pulls Sigurd aside after dinner, when the others are distracted by Bart’s shenanigans, Ramsus doesn’t even have to say it out loud.
“Kahr…” With his left hand, Sigurd takes hold of Ramsus’ right arm, guides it. “You can go ahead and touch,” he says softly. He brings Ramsus’ hand towards his stomach. Ramsus’ fingers brush against bare skin. “Wherever you want.”
Ramsus is shaking. Just a little brush of skin is enough to send his mind whirling. It’s exactly the same and opposite of what he was expecting. “Sigurd…” he chokes out.
Sigurd doesn’t seem to mind. He stands there in front of Ramsus so patiently. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? Since you rescued me,” he begins to say as Ramsus’ fingers start to move, glide across bronze skin, until they touch Sigurd’s navel. Sigurd chuckles. “And no, I don’t think about the tags anymore. But…”
Ramsus’ fingers circle around the indentation. Of course he had seen that there was nothing there, but he feels it too. “But?”
“I was thinking…” Sigurd touches Ramsus’ arm once more, guiding his hand away. “If you think a navel stud would look good, then maybe…”
Ramsus takes a moment to imagine it. Something gold or silver-looking decorating that place? He already knows that it would look good. But he’s not the one who had to wear a tag like an animal. Sigurd already does enough, after how Ramsus treated him...
“You don’t have to,” he says. He can’t say no because he doesn’t want to lie, but he feels guilty having even imagined the thought.
“Kahr…” Sigurd sighs before wrapping his arms around Ramsus. It causes Ramsus to choke. For a moment he doesn’t remember how to breathe properly. It’s not like he hasn’t been embraced before. It’s not that he doesn’t want this embrace. He wants it; he wanted it so much. But he doesn’t think he deserves it.
“It’s alright.” Sigurd holds Ramsus tighter. Ramsus has to give in. After all, Hyuga, Jesse, everyone tells him the one he has hurt gets to decide how they feel, not him. “We can take our time now.”
Ramsus is being comforted, being accepted. It’s hard to swallow, but…
“Okay.”
He brings his arms around Sigurd. He buries his face into Sigurd’s neck. He soaks in Sigurd’s warmth, in Sigurd’s promise, and breathes it all in.