Title: the first (the next) step
Rating: T
Fandom: Dreamy Planet
Relationship: Haruka/Shiina
Wordcount: 903
Short summary: Shiina makes one more effort, for Haruka and herself, because she doesn't want that night to be the last...
Just as I thought…
Is what Shiina tells herself when she wakes up, groggy and hungover, and finds herself alone in the bed. Her nakedness is proof that what happened last night…earlier this morning…was not a dream. Haruka really had been here…they really did that in the bathroom…on the bed…and now Haruka is gone.
But how far gone? Shiina had sensed that Haruka was wavering, that Haruka could have taken a step towards… Perhaps last night wasn’t enough…no, last night definitely wasn’t enough. Shiina already wants, aches for Haruka to be in her arms once more, to touch her that way again, to share her bed again. Yet…it’s still morning. 10 AM is still morning. A determined Haruka would be gone, already back in Kyoto by this time. But a wavering Haruka…
Shiina puts on her clothes from yesterday, double-checks she has her wallet and keys, foregoes her usual makeup, just gets out of this dingy hotel as soon as possible. By focusing on the one thing she should be doing right now, she can push this haziness aside. She can deal with the rest of…everything…later. It doesn’t matter if the odds of finding Haruka here are low, if she has to drive all the way to Kyoto to find Haruka. Shiina will not let that hotel room be their last memory together, she won’t let it get any worse than 5 years ago…
I will always support you…
Shiina doesn’t have to be a nurse to know that sometimes supporting another person means not letting them do what they think is right. Not when being “selfish” instead of “self-sacrificing” would make them both happier. And definitely this Makoto guy would not hurt much. Because if he cared, would Shiina have woken up on her own, safe and sound? Shiina is 100% sure that Haruka left on her own and not through any direct action by Makoto.
Once in her car, Shiina’s next task is to decide where to drive to first. Haruka’s feet were hurting yesterday from her shoes, right? So she probably took a taxi…to get to the train station. If she intended to leave. Of course there was the small possibility that Haruka left to get breakfast, but considering how thin Haruka looks and how little appetite she showed in general yesterday, Shiina is doubtful Haruka thinks about food for herself much… Well, Shiina might as well cross the first thing off the list.
The drive to the train station seems to drag on, even if it really should be like 10 minutes. The silence is too sterile; the car feels extra empty after having had Haruka in it just half a day ago. Shiina starts to contemplate whether she should turn on some music when the train station comes into view. Nara station…and a woman in a green blouse and a white skirt on a bench…wait a second.
Shiina stops her car rather awkwardly, doesn’t care if she might be violating parking rules but she has to get out the car now and check…
“You’re here.”
Shiina’s eyes had not deceived her. Haruka had been looking down before Shiina spoke, but now with that precious face looking right up at Shiina’s, there is absolutely no doubt who is right here, who hasn’t left for Kyoto but instead has stayed in Nara.
“Shiina?” Haruka murmurs, so quietly. She looks like she can’t believe what she’s seeing. To be fair Shiina can’t believe what she’s seeing, but if any of it’s real, Shiina will grab on and hold it tight.
“Are you hungry?” And act like this is normal. “Let’s get breakfast.”
Haruka nods slightly before seemingly catching herself. She looks back down at her lap. “You aren’t mad?”
“Nope.” Anger is the not one of the many emotions she has felt this morning. Disappointment, fear, worry, anxiousness…all these perhaps. Relief right now.
“Rather I’m happy,” Shiina replies. “That you didn’t go home.”
Haruka still looks down. “But I still left…”
Shiina expected that answer, so she is ready with her rebuttal. “But you didn’t leave all the way. It’s okay.” She doesn’t need to know if Haruka went all the way onto a train before stepping off or if she had stopped right here. Because the end result is the same. Haruka is here and Shiina has found her. Shiina puts a hand on Haruka’s shoulder; she doesn’t feel hurt when Haruka flinches, but rather waits for Haruka to settle back into her skin.
“I might not understand…” Shiina continues. She exhales. “Yeah, I know I don’t really get it. But it doesn’t mean I can’t understand this is still a big step for you. You just need a little support and I want to give that to you.”
I want to love you at your side every day, from now on, until our last days.
It takes a minute of silence, a minute of patience, before Haruka lifts her head. There is a small smile on her face. “…Alright. I’m sorry…and thank you.”
“No problem!” Shiina can’t help herself, exclaiming as she closes in to kiss Haruka’s forehead. She then takes Haruka’s hand, lifts her, guides her onto her feet. They take steps together, hand in hand, back to Shiina’s car. Yes, the only plan right now is to get breakfast. They haven’t even decided where. But they are taking that first step, and that’s the most important thing.