Title: labels not needed
Rating: G
Fandom: Atelier Arland series
Relationship: Totori Helmold/Mimi Houllier von Schwarzlang
Wordcount: 400
Short summary: Things get a little awkward between Mimi and Totori after Lulua calls them “married”, but after overcoming hesitation, Mimi finally talks to Totori about it.
Mimi does like Lulua, she really does, but this “situation”… This all is kind of her fault. Saying things like she and Totori are “married” and stuff… Things that aren’t comprehensible, because they can’t exist?
Actually, what doesn’t exist? That is a good question. Something does exist, though, or things wouldn’t be awkward between her and Totori when they are alone.
Mimi has realized over the years that she is bad at dealing with people because she isn’t the best at reading what they want. She admits to not having the best awareness of others. But even Mimi knows she should say something to Totori. Still, she keeps hesitating.
Fear drives hesitation normally but this time it’s not primarily fear, it’s just the inability to properly find words to explain how she feels in a way that doesn’t sound completely ludicrous. She likes Totori but “like” doesn’t seem quite descriptive enough. She is a close friend to Totori but “friendship” doesn’t seem quite descriptive enough either. Both words seem too shallow, too light. Mimi wants to be close to Totori… She wants to be the closest, she wants to protect Totori, but she doesn’t have the desire to touch Totori… She doesn’t have that physical desire that is written about in romance books that she will not admit to reading. Isn’t that what married couples do? Touch each other? Because they are in love with each other?
Argh, this is annoying! And going a little extra hard on self-training does not help clear her thoughts. Fine, she’ll do it. No more time for hesitating.
When Mimi finally talks to Totori about this “stuff” in her head, she initially feels upset because Totori laughs at her. Totori laughs so much she looks like she’s going to cry, but then she wraps her arms around Mimi, making Mimi blush in embarrassment because this is all too warm and weird and…
“But you don’t hate it, if it’s me?” Totori asks, quietly and shyly, hesitantly.
Mimi realizes she was embarrassed by Totori’s action but the thought of pushing Totori away never occurred to her. Anyone else she would, but…
“Then it’s fine! Who cares what words other people say. We are who we are.”
Mimi smiles. Those words are the only ones that make sense. As long as she has Totori, it doesn’t matter what labels their bond may or may not have.