Title: small vice
Rating: G
Fandom: Flowers
Relationship: Kohsaka Mayuri/Shirohane Suoh
Wordcount: 500
Short summary: Suoh is Mayuri’s small vice. Mayuri is Suoh’s small vice.
She’s leaning against the wall, holding her breath as she listens. She’s not sure what she’s listening for, what she wants to hear. Does she want to hear her voice? Does she not want to hear her voice?
Well, if she were to be honest with herself, she shouldn’t have come to the club building in the first place. She’s supposed to be “gone”. She’s “Sion Basquiat” right now and thus she should be by her grandmother’s side, caring for her and soothing her worries. She shouldn’t have come by the art room especially when she knows Suoh is on the other side, when she knows Suoh is looking for “Mayuri”.
But she can’t erase that longing, for Suoh, for any part of Suoh. She can’t forget every moment they had together, especially that night in the library, by the window, with the moonlight being the only illumination. She can’t forget the feel of Suoh, the warmth of Suoh. Those fingers, those lips…
In the darkness she touches her own lips and remembers that feeling, even while risking being caught and ruining everything with her indulgence of small vice. It’s not like her love for Suoh is actually accepted here, at this Christian school. It’s not denied or rejected either, but… She’s sinned, and if being “Sion Basquiat” allows some of those sins to be erased…
She’ll lean against this wall. If Suoh calls for her, she’ll tell Suoh to forget her, even if she herself will never forget Suoh…
**********
Suoh’s biggest weakness is the fact that she won’t let anything go. People have told her that over and over, and yet… She only cheered up when Erika told her to go looking for Mayuri, to get answers. But, as months pass without Mayuri back, Suoh has to wonder… Will that really be enough?
Suoh heard Mayuri’s voice through the wall. She has confirmed that Mayuri is still around, that she is likely safe even if separated. She heard Mayuri’s plea to be forgotten once more, but if there is one thing Suoh won’t do…
She won’t stop, can’t stop thinking about Mayuri. It happens at inopportune times, sneaks up on her inadvertently. She can’t forget the sound of Mayuri’s voice, the sight of Mayuri’s smile, the feel of Mayuri’s kiss. She can’t forget the love that she feels for Mayuri, that Mayuri felt for her.
At night, even with Rikka sleeping below, Suoh thinks about Mayuri. During class, even though she should probably keep her status as the top performer, she thinks about Mayuri. During Council of Nicaea meetings, even though she is now President, she thinks about Mayuri.
Thinking about Mayuri is her small vice and her small comfort.
It’s not like their love was “allowed” here, although it wasn’t quite forbidden. After all, Suoh was allowed to date Rikka openly, but… Is Mayuri’s secret the reason? But then why couldn’t Mayuri say that…
Suoh will only truly believe when Mayuri stands in front of her once more.